TOP TEN (Okay, eleven) SIGNS YOUR SCHOOL IS ON A HELLMOUTH


by

Jane Leavell

  1. When a teacher dies, a student is allowed to be the substitute teacher for the rest of the year. (They say there's a shortage of qualified teachers, but come on!)

  2. "In Memoriam" is the biggest section of each class's yearbook

  3. Your principal is eaten by hyenas

  4. Your computer really is out to get you

  5. Your school library is filled with arcane texts, and none of the students you know ever enters it

  6. Your classmates can build incredibly sophisticated artificially intelligent robots, and nobody is impressed

  7. Instead of athletic skill and sex appeal, you need a knowledge of witchcraft to join the cheerleader squad

  8. The librarian writes you hall passes that excuse you from class to fight Armaggedon

  9. Your teacher is a preying mantis. Or a Gypsy.

  10. Vampires crash the parent/teacher conferences, but CNN doesn't cover it

    ....and finally....

  11. The mayor eats your graduating class

FOR WANT OF A COMMA…

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER is obviously a TV show about a vampire who slays things.

It would be BUFFY THE VAMPIRE-SLAYER if she were a person who slays vampires.


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For more of the author's smart-mouth attitude, check HOW TO WRITE ALMOST READABLE FAN FICTION, complete with real examples and fanfic-useful details from selected TV shows.

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1999 - 2013, copyright Jane A. Leavell, all rights reserved.