A little inaccuracy saves a world of explanation.--C.E. Ayres, Science, the False Messiah, 1927 (but H.H. Munro, better known as Saki, also said, "A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation." in The Square Egg in 1924, so somebody's stealing something...)
I do not mind lying, but I hate inaccuracy.--Samuel Butler II (1835--1902)
LI>The only thing you can do easily is be wrong, and that's hardly worth the effort.--Norton Juster, The Phantom Tollbooth
A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore.--Yogi Berra (1925--), U.S. baseball player
Invest in inflation. It's the only thing going up.--Will Rogers (1879--1935), U.S. humorist
One of the principle troubles about inflation is that the public likes it.--Lord Woolton, British politician
I hope they notice the mistletoe tied to my coattails as I leave town.--Abe Lemons (1923--2002), U.S. basketball coach
I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse. --Woody Allen (1935--), U.S. director/author
This isn't right. This isn't even wrong.--Wolfgang Pauli (1900-1958), U.S. physicist, on a paper submitted by a physicist colleague
INTELLIGENCE AND THE LACK THEREOF
A highbrow is a person educated beyond his intelligence.--Brander Matthew (1852-1956)
A word to the wise ain't necessary, it is the stupid ones who need all the advice.--Bill Cosby (1937--), U.S. comedian
As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly.--Proverbs XXVI:11
Being intelligent is not a felony. But most societies evaluate it as at least a misdemeanor.--Robert A. Heinlein, (1907-1988), US science-fiction novelist
Common Sense is not so common.--Voltaire (1694--1778), French author;/philosopher
Eggheads, unite! You have nothing to lose but your yolks.--Adlai Stevenson (1900-1965), U.S. politician
Every man of genius is considerably helped by being dead.--Robert S. Lynd, U.S. sociologist
Foolproof systems don't take into account the ingenuity of fools.--Gene Brown
Genius is born, not paid.--Oscar Wilde (1856--1900), Irish writer
Gross ignorance--144 times worse than ordinary ignorance.--Bennett Cerf (1898--1971), U.S. publisher
He's very smart. He has an I.Q.--Leo Rosten (1908--1997), U.S. writer
I am more stupid about some things than about others; not equally stupid in all directions; I am not a well-rounded person.--Saul Bellow (1915--), U.S. novelist
I once dated a guy who was so dumb he could not count to
twenty-one unless he was naked.--Joan Rivers (1939--), U.S. comedienne
I prefer rogues to imbeciles, because they sometimes take a rest.--Alexandre Dumas fils (1824-1895), French playwright & novelist
I think the world is run by C students.--Al McGuire, (1929--2001), U.S. basketball coach
If one says to thee, "Thou art a donkey," pay no heed. If two speak thus, purchase a saddle.--The Talmud
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?--Will Rogers (1879-1935), U.S. humorist
If your head is wax, don't walk in the sun.--Benjamin Franklin (1706--1790)
Ignorance is no excuse--it's the real thing.--Irene Peter
It is impossible to underrate human intelligence--beginning with one's own.--Henry Brooks Adams (1838--1918), U.S. historian
Most fools think they are only ignorant.--Benjamin Franklin (1706--1790), Poor Richard (October 1748)
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.--Robert Heinlein (1907-1988), US science-fiction novelist
Ninety-nine percent of the people in the world are fools and the rest of us are in great danger of contagion.--Thornton Wilder (1897 - 1975), playwright
No man likes to have his intelligence or good faith questioned, especially if he has doubts about it himself.--Henry Brooks Adams (1838--1918), U.S. historian
Some folks are wise and some are otherwise.--Tobias Smollett (1721--1771), Scottish novelist
Sometimes men come by the name of genius in the same way that certain insects come by the name of centipede--not because they have a hundred feet, but because most people can't count above fourteen.--Georg C. Lichtenberg (1742--1799), German writer
Stupidity often saves a man from going mad.--Oliver Wendell Holmes (1809--1894), U.S. essayist & poet
The formula 'Two and two make five' is not without its attractions.--Fyodor Dostoevsky (1821--1881), Russian novelist, Notes From the Underground, 1864
The problem with the global village is all the global village idiots.--P. Ginsparg
The stupider the peasant, the better the horse understands him.--Anton Chekhov (1860--1904), Russian physician/author
The trouble with people is not that they don't know but that they know so much that ain't so.--Josh Billings (1815-1885), U.S. humorist
The two most common things in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.--Harlan Ellison, (1934--), U.S. science-fiction author
There are more fools in the world than there are people.--Heinrich Heine (1797--1856), German poet
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.--Frank Zappa, (1941--1993), U.S. musician
To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well-mannered.--Voltaire (1694--1778), French author;/philosopher
What's the use of having ignorance if you can't show it? --Lou Costello (1906-1959), U.S. comedian
You can be sincere and still be stupid.--Charles F. Kettering (1876--1958), U.S. inventor/industrialist
You can fool too many of the people too much of the time .--James Thurber (1894--1961), U.S. humorist
You can swim all day in the Sea of Knowledge and still come out completely dry. Most people do.--Norman Juster, U.S. writer
You may have genius. The contrary is, of course, probable.--Oliver Wendell Holmes (1809--1894), U.S. essayist, poet
THE IRISH, AND THEIR PROVERBS (see also CURSING)
An Irishman can be worried by the consciousness that there is nothing to worry about.--Austin O'Malley (1858--1932), physician/humorist
For an Irishman, talking is a dance.--Deborah Love, poet, Annaghkeen
Give an Irishman lager for a month, and he's a dead man. An Irishman is lined with copper, and the beer corrodes it. But whiskey polishes the copper and is the saving of him.--Mark Twain (1835--1910), Life on the Mississippi
Had you English not persecuted the Catholics in Ireland...the greatest number of them would before now have become Protestants.--Napoleon Bonaparte (1769--1821)
If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks.--Brendan Behan (1923--1964), Irish dramatist
If one could only teach the English how to talk and the Irish how to listen, society would be quite civilized.--Oscar Wilde (1856--1900), Irish writer
In Ireland the inevitable never happens and the unexpected constantly occurs.--Sir John Pentland Mahaffy (1839--1919), Irish scholar
Ireland is a country in which the probable never happens and the impossible always does.--John P. Mahaffy (1839--1919), Irish scholar
It's not a sin not to be Irish, but it is a great shame.--Sean O'Huiginn, consul general of Ireland, Reader's Digest, (March 1987)
My one claim to originality among Irishmen is that I have never made a speech.--George Moore (1852--1933), Irish author
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat.--Alex Levine
Put an Irishman on the spit and you can always get another Irishman to turn him.--George Bernard Shaw (1856--1950), "The Impossible Irish," 1907
The curse of the Irish is not that they don't know the words to a song--it's that they know them all.--Susan Dooley, Washington Post, 1987
The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights.
Will Rogers, U.S. humorist
The Irish are not in a conspiracy to cheat the world by false representations of the merits of their countrymen. No, Sir; the Irish are FAIR PEOPLE; they never speak well of one another.--Samuel Johnson (1709--1784) to James Boswell, 18 February 1775
The Irish do not want anyone to wish them well; they want everyone to wish their enemies ill.--Harold Nicolson (1886-1968), English diplomat
The Irish people do not gladly suffer common sense.--Oliver St. John Gogarty, The Observer, London, 1935
The quiet Irishman is about as harmless as a powder magazine built over a match factory.--James Dunne
Today is St. Patrick's Day; they say there are only two kinds of people on St. Patrick's Day: the Irish, and the people that drive them home.--Conan O'Brien, U.S. TV talk show host, 2003
We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English.--Winston Churchill, British prime minister
When Irish eyes are smiling, watch your step.--Gerald Kersh (1911--1968), SF author
You know it is summer in Ireland when the rain gets warmer.--Hal Roach, Irish comedian
An Irishman is never at peace except when he's fighting.
Bad as I like ye, it's worse without ye.
Better be quarreling than lonesome.
God made time, but man made haste.
It is better to be a coward for a minute than dead the rest of your life.
It's the deaf people that create the lies.
Love all men--except lawyers.
You've got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was.
A Christmas wish--may you never forget what is worth remembering, or remember what is best forgotten.
A generation of children on the children of your children.
Here's a health to your enemies' enemies!
Here's to eyes in your heads and none in your spuds.
Holy Mother take the harm of the years away from you.
May the Devil cut the toes off our foes, that we may know them by their limping.
May the Devil say a prayer for you.
May the Lord keep you in his hand and never close his fist too tight on you, and may the face of every good news and the back of every bad news be toward us in the New Year.
May the rocks in your field turn to gold.
May the sun shine warm upon your face and the rains fall soft upon your fields.
May those that love us, love us.
And those that don't love us,
May God turn their hearts.
And if He doesn't turn their hearts,
May He turn their ankles
So we will know them by their limping.
May you have the health of a salmon--a strong heart and a wet mouth. (Irish Export Board toast for the Irish highball)
May you live to be a hundred years with one extra year to repent.
May you never be without a drop at Christmas.
No wasps near your honey, but bees in your hive.
To a full moon on a dark night, and the road downhill all the way to your door.
To warm words on a cold day.
Never trust a reporter who has a nice smile.--William Rauch
No news is good news. No journalists is even better.-~Nicolas Bentley, British humorist
Reporters are not required to read you your Miranda rights.--Christopher Matthews, U.S. journalist
There aren't any embarrassing questions--only embarrassing answers.--Carl Rowan, The New Yorker, 1963
LI>They kill good trees to put out bad newspapers.-~James G. Watt, quoted in Newsweek, 8 March 1982
We can't quite decide if the world is growing worse, or if the reporters are just working harder.--The Houghton Line, November 1965
If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.--Johnny Carson, (1925--), U.S. talk show host
Injustice is relatively easy to bear; what stings is justice.--H. L. Mencken (1880--1956), Prejudices, iii, p. 101
Justice is blind. Blind she is, an' deef an' dumb an' has a wooden leg.--Finley Peter Dunne (1867--1936), "Cross-Examinations"
Justice may be blind, but she has very sophisticated listening devices.--Edgar Argo
Most of us can read the writing on the wall; we just assume it's addressed to someone else.--Ivern Ball
On justice and on friendship, there is no price, but there are established credit limits.--Ben Edlund, U.S. cartoonist, The Tick
Always try to be a little kinder than necessary.--James M. Barrie (1860--1937), British novelist
Be kind and considerate to others, depending somewhat upon who they are.--Don Herold (1889--1966), U.S. humorist
If you can't be kind, at least be vague.--Judith Martin, a.k.a. "Miss Manners"
If you're naturally kind, you attract a lot of people you don't like.--William Feather (1889-1981), U.S. author/publisher
Kick him again, he's down.--American proverb
No good deed goes unpunished.--Clare Booth Luce (1903-1987), U.S. politician