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The following poem is composed entirely of actual quotes from George W. Bush. The quotes have been arranged for aesthetic purposes by Washington Post writer Richard Thompson. Too good (or too excruciatingly bad) not to share.

MAKE THE PIE HIGHER
by George W. Bush

I think we all agree, the past is over.
This is still a dangerous world.
It's a world of madmen and uncertainty and potential mental losses.
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
Will the highways of the Internet become more few?
How many hands have I shaked?

They misunderestimate me.
I am a pitbull on the pantleg of opportunity.
I know that the human being and the fish can coexist.
Families is where our nation finds hope, where our wings take dream.
Put food on your family!
Knock down the tollbooth!
Vulcanize Society!
Make the pie higher! Make the pie higher!

More George W. fumbles:
I think we agree, the past is over.--President George W. Bush, Dallas Morning News, May 10, 2000
I think if you know what you believe, it makes it a lot easier to answer questions. I can't answer your question—President George W. Bush, Reynoldsburg, Ohio, October 4, 2000
They misunderestimated me. –President George W. Bush, Bentonville, Ark., Nov. 6, 2000

And a political classic:
I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.--Robert McCloskey, State Department spokesman


Laugh at MORE EXAMPLES OF BAD WRITING


Laugh at a demonstration of bad writing largely stolen from William Safire.
Reflect upon some REASONS TO HATE THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE.
Smirk at proof at that years of expensive higher education did not enable your doctor to write a coherent sentence--GRAMMATICALLY INFIRM MEDICAL ENGLISH.
Note the silliness that ensues when BAD NEWSPAPER HEADLINES are written.

Learn HOW TO WRITE ALMOST READABLE FAN FICTION with MS. NITPICKER (including hideous examples of bad writing)


GENERALITIES
DIALOGUE
CHARACTER THOUGHTS
PUNCTUATION (NOT JUST IN DIALOGUE
VOCABULARY
REDUNDANCY & REPETITION
MS. NITPICKER'S CONTINUING HALL OF SHAME
CHEAT SHEET INDEX
MS. NITPICKER'S FANFIC GLOSSARY

I'm thoroughly chastened, and want to return to the main page and perhaps yell at Ms. Nitpicker.