GENTLEMEN--AND LADIES
- A gentleman is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on.--Fred Allen (1894-1956), U.S. comedian
- A gentleman is one who never strikes a woman without provocation.--H.L. Mencken (1880--1956), U.S. journalist
- A lady is one who never shows her underwear unintentionally.--Lilian Day, Kiss and Tell
- A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't.--Rhonda Hansome, U.S. comedienne
- A young lady is a female child who has just done something dreadful.--Judith Martin, aka Ms. Manners, (1938-- ), U.S. etiquette authority
- An exhaustive study of police records shows that no woman has ever shot her husband while he was doing the dishes.--Earl Wilson (1907-1987), American newspaper columnist from Field Newspaper Syndicate
- A woman needs a man like a fish needs a net.--Cynthia Heimel, U.S. humorist
- A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's. She changes it more often..--Oliver Herford (1863--1935), U.S. poet
- An exhaustive study of police records shows that no woman has ever shot her husband while he was doing the dishes.--Earl Wilson (1907-1987), American newspaper columnist for the Field Newspaper Syndicate
- Behind almost every woman you ever heard of stands a man who let her down.--Naomi Bliven (1916--2002), U.S. writer/book critic
- Behind every successful man stands a surprised woman.--Marilyn Pearson
- Being a woman is a terribly difficult trade, since it consists principally of dealing with men.--Joseph Conrad (1857-1924), English novelist
- Even nowadays a man can't step up and kill a woman without feeling just a big unchivalrous.--Robert Benchley (1889-1945), U.S. humorist
- Gentlemen prefer blondes, but take what they can get.--Don Herold (1889--1966), U.S. humorist
- Gentlemen prefer blondes.--Anita Loos (1893-1981), U.S. screenwriter
- Gentlemen prefer bonds.--Andrew Mellon (1921-1932), U.S. industrialist
- God made men, and then said I can do better than that and made woman.--Adela St. Rogers, author
- I believe in women. Men are just unsubstantiated rumors.--Erika Ritter (1948--), Canadian playwright
- I have always thought that every woman should marry, and no man.--Benjamin Disraeli (1804--1881), British Prime Minister
- I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.--Gloria Steinem, (1934-- ), U.S. political activist/journalist
- I love men, not because they are men, but because they are not women.--Queen Christina of Sweden
- I married beneath me--all women do.--Nancy Astor, speech, Oldham, England, 1951
- I'm not denying the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.--George Eliot (1819--1890), Adam Bede
- I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night.--- Marie Corelli (1855–1924), English novelist.
- It is delightful to be a woman, but every man thanks the Lord devoutly that he isn't one.--Olive Schreiner (1855--1920), South African writer
- It is because of men that women dislike each other.--Jean de la Bruyere (1645--1696), French author
- It is possible that blondes also prefer gentlemen.--Mamie Van Doren, (1931--), U.S. actress
- Male supremacy has kept woman down. It has not knocked her out.--Clare Booth Luce, Saturday Review (September 15, 1974)
- Powerful men often succeed through the help of their wives. Powerful women only succeed in spite of their husbands.--Lynda Lee-Potter, Daily Mail (May 16, 1984
- Remember, Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but she did it backwards and in high heels.--Faith Whittlesey, U.S. politician
- The main difference between men and women is that men are lunatics and women are idiots.--Rebecca West (1892-1983), English writer
- Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.--Charlotte Whitton, mayor of Ottawa, Canada in Canada Month, 1963
- When women are depressed their either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.--Elayne Boosler, U.S. comedian
- Woman was God's second mistake.--Friedrich Nietzche (1844--1900), The Anti-Christ
- Women do not like timid men. Cats do not like prudent mice.--H. L. Mencken (1880--1956), U.S. journalist
- Women have got to make the world safe for men since men have made it so darned unsafe for women.--Lady Nancy Astor (1879--1964), British politician
- Women like silent men. They think they're listening.--Marcel Archard, Quote, 4 November 1956
(See also: WOMEN)
GERMANY
- Because of their cuisine, Germans don't consider farting rude. They'd certainly be out of luck if they did.--P.J. O'Rourke (1947--), Modern Manners, The Atlantic Monthly Press, 1989
- I married a German. Every night I dress up as Poland and he invades me.--Bette Midler (1945--), U.S. entertainer
- Life is too short to learn German.--Richard Porson (1759--1808), English classical scholar
- The Germans are like women. You can scarcely ever fathom their depths--they haven't any.--Friedrich Nietzshe, Ecce Homo, German philosopher
- The German mind has a talent for making no mistakes but the very greatest.--Clifton Fadiman, U.S. writer
- The reason there is so little crime in Germany is that it's against the law.--Alex Levin
- You can always reason with a German. You can always reason with a barnyard animal, too, for all the good it does.--P.J. O'Rourke "Holidays in Hell"
GHOSTS
- I don't believe in ghosts, but I've been afraid of them all my life.--Charles A. Dana (1819-1897), U.S. journalist
GOSSIP
- I hate to spread rumors--but what else can one do with them.--Amanda Lear, model/singer, in 1978 interview
- Some people will believe anything if it is whispered to them.--Pierre de Miramax
- There are many who dare not kill themselves for fear of what the neighbors will say.--Cyril Connolly (1903--1975), English critic/editor
GREAT MEN (AND WOMEN) ON THEMSELVES
- A good statue can be rolled downhill without damage.--Michaelangelo (1475-1564), Italian sculptor/painter
- Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.--George Carlin (1937-- ), U.S. comedian
- Good taste is the excuse I've always given for leading such a bad life.--Oscar Wilde (1856--1900), Irish writer
- I am a deeply superficial person.--Andy Warhol (1928-1987), U.S. artist
- I am a drinker with writing problems.--Brendan Behan (February 9, 1923--March 20, 1964), Irish poet/short story writer/novelist/playwright
- I am only an average man, but, by George, I work at it harder than the average man.--Theodore Roosevelt (1858--1919), U.S. president
- I can resist everything except temptation.--Oscar Wilde (1856--1900), Irish author
- I don't deserve any credit for turning the other cheek as my tongue is always in it.--Flannery O'Connor, (1925--1964), U.S. author
- I don't necessarily agree with everything I say.--Marshall McLuhan (1911--1980), U.S. communications theorist
- I have simple tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.--Oscar Wilde (1856--1900), Irish writer
- I have suffered from being misunderstood, but I would have suffered a lot more if I had been understood.--Clarence Darrow (1857--1938), US attorney
- I want a man who's kind and understanding. Is that too much to ask of a millionaire?--Zsa Zsa Gabor, (ca. 1918--), actress
- I was court-martialled in my absence, and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.--Brendan Francis Behan, Irish playwright (February 9, 1923--March 20, 1964)
- I was raised by just my mom. See, my father died when I was eight years old. At least, that's what he told us in the letter.--Drew Carey, (1958--), U.S. comedian
- I would have made a good Pope.--Richard M. Nixon, US President (1913-1994)
- If I was two-faced, would I be using this one?--Abraham Lincoln (1809--1865), US President
- I'm a fat anorexic.--Kiri Te Kanawa (1948--), Maori soprano
- It is a cursed evil to any man to become so absorbed in any subject as I am in mine.--Charles Darwin (1809--1882), British scientist
- I've been on a calendar, but never on time.--Marilyn Monroe, Look, 16 January 1962, US actress
- Merely as an observer of natural phenomena, I am fascinated by my own personal appearance. This doesn't mean that I am pleased with it, mind you, or that I can even tolerate it. I simply have a morbid interest in it.--Robert Benchley (1889--1945), US humorist
- My wife was too beautiful for words, but not for arguments.--John Barrymore, (1882--1942), U.S. actor
- People don't know my real self and they're not about to find out.--Yul Brynner (1920-1985), movie actor
- The trouble with me is I can't worry. Damn it, I try to worry, and I can't.--Robert Benchley (1889--1945), US humorist
- There used to be a me, but I had it surgically removed.--Peter Sellers, Time, 1980, British movie actor
- They called me mad, I called them mad, and damn them, they outvoted me.--Nathaniel Lee, (1649-—May 1692), English playwright, on being committed to Bedlam
- To be a great champion, you must believe you are the best. If you're not, pretend you are.--Mohammed Ali, (1942--), U.S. boxer
- We are all worms, but I do believe that I am a glow-worm.--Winston Churchill (1874--1965 ), English politician
- We've all been blessed with God-given talents. Mine just happens to be beating people up.--Sugar Ray Leonard, (1956--), U.S. boxer
- You can build a throne with bayonets, but you can't sit on it for long.--Boris Yeltsin, (1931--), Russian politician
GREAT TEACHERS
- Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.--Hector Berlioz (1803-1869), French composer
- Experience is the worst teacher; it gives the test before presenting the lesson.--Vernon Law, U.S. baseball player
- Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.--Terry Pratchett, Hogfather, A Novel of Discworld, 1996
- "It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever," he said. "Have you thought of going into teaching?" --Terry Pratchett (1948--), Mort
OTHER SUBJECTS (as compared to prepositions) to look up.